silly poem

Night before thanksgiving,
and all thru out town,
Traffic was horrid
and did make me frown.
To the store,
to the shop
for just one last stop,
All that was needed was a pile of groceries;
with a turkey on top.
Rain was pouring
and the people were dashing
I jumped from my car
and in a puddle went splashing.
I rung out my coat and wiped off my face
A cold shiver shook me,
the water went down
to that special place.
All I need was in the store,
And soon I could finish
this evil chore.
The crowd was huge
and smelly,
and rank,
And that was just for the carts
Hey did that guy just fart?
I ran,
I dodged.
I turned and strafed.
I moved and planed
just for an escape.
I lunged and nudged
and soon I found
A path leading
to open ground.
I looked and searched
both hi and low
Up and down
back and forth.
Slowly oh so slowly
did my cart begin to fill.
Item after item
did I mark off my list.
If I forget anything
the misses will be pissed.
On and on, grab and pray
for all of my items
I would soon have to pay.
Oh crap oh heck
I hope my check
they OK.
On to the last,
just one item left
For one old Tom
I must get the best.
Butterball,
thirty pounds
she had called.
Her mother
was coming
so nothing but the best.
So I pushed and shoved
with all my zest,
the crowd that stood
between me and my rest.
I caught just a glimpse
good old tom turkey.
I dove and clawed,
I grab and yanked on
what would soon be my feast.
In my hands
For the first time today,
I held my future
And it was bright as day.
I could hear the clamor.
From far behind
as I pranced down the isle
pushing my cart
happy as a child
the wheel di grab
Off course it wanted to go.
None of this I yelled
And pulled it back straight
And onto the cashier
as the hour was late.
Ring and ching
the register did go.
Faster and faster
she was starting to throw
Item after item
till all was done
I scribbled my check
And it soon beeped “cleared.”
I grabbed it all
and away home
I did run.
Dinner well
nothing got ruined
Stuffed with food
is what we had become.
So now they nap
and snooze
and all is just about done
I figure it is time for me to have fun.
I turn the monitor on
and boot up my system
but soon my wife is
calling from the kitchen
As I walk in I am astounded
the stove
the oven
every counter top is filthy
she claim a headache
and hands me a mop.
So take my warning
and listen well.
When it comes time
for Thanksgiving
make it at someone elses house.